The Socratic Irony
Socrates is regarded as one of the early and incredibly influential gurus of early Greece. While far from being a flawless man, people of all kinds would approach him for advice because of his wisdom. Yet one little known fact about his style of giving advice is that often he wouldn’t provide actual answers to the questions that were posed of him. Instead he new that questions were the answer. When someone approached the “man on the mountain” (Including Plato, an early follower), Socrates would simply ask questions that were designed to help people come to their own conclusions. While some felt initially frustrated or angered by this approach, most of his students eventually felt empowered and self motivated.
As coaches we strive to use a similar approach for a very simple reason. We realize that our clients don’t seek out our advice just to hear us give them ideas that they agree will help address their issues. They want action and results. The trouble is when our consultation is over, the client still needs to go back and apply what we’ve told them to do. And the rubber will never hit the road unless the client is inspired to act.
Most coaching involves essentially a lecture by the coach to the client which often creates external motivation. The coach motivates the client and the client feels better because of it, for a while at least. But, like a wind up toy, it fades. Couple that with the law of diminishing intent and you end up with the statues quo.
When a client isn’t simply told what to do but instead comes to his or her own conclusions that were triggered by some well formulated questions, then he or she becomes self motivated. Self motivation – motivation from within is far more enduring and resilient and far more likely to create meaningful change and results.
As the saying goes, circumstances don’t make the man, they reveal him. It’s not just circumstances that are revealing, questions are revealing too. They reveal needs that aren’t evident on the surface or to the degree originally thought. Some needs are two or three questions deep. Good questions prompt solutions and often a desire to implement those solutions. The role of the coach changes from motivator to navigator. Equip the client with an actionable solution to a need that exists, stimulate self motivation and then light the path to execution. That simple recipe leads to breakthroughs.
The following are a few of our many questions that we present to help a client gain clarity on an issue that needs attention.
When a client tells us they aren’t happy with the quality or quantity of referrals they are getting, we often ask this:
Do you position referrals as a service you are providing to your clients or as a favor you are asking them to do for you?
We want to uncover whether the client has a mindset of salesmanship or stewardship. Sales people ask for referrals and in the process look needy. Professionals position the concept of making themselves available to speak to a friend as service they are providing and communicate as much in a very attractive way.
When a client reveals that they are either working to hard or feel frustrated by the lack of productivity in staff members, we ask them this:
What would happen to your business if you took a month off from work starting tomorrow?
We meet a lot of business owners who are either working too hard or they aren’t building a franchise ready business that can stand on its own. This questions reveals the importance of constructing an organizational and structural chart as well as a procedures manual loaded with a service matrix and advocate processes. This is the bedrock to consistency and predictability.
When a client tells that they are concerned by their inability to steadily attract high net-worth clients, we ask them this:
Who views it as an accomplishment when you bring on new clients, you for closing them or them for qualifying to work with you?
We have to help to the client evolve from using a “sales” process to a “fit” process. Top caliber clients don’t want to buy something, they want to buy into something. When you stop chasing using sales tactics and start attracting using a consultative approach, your ability to attract high value clients becomes automatic.
One of the most fascinating things to come from our approach is that sometimes a client doesn’t “get it” right away. When we help a client uncover a core issue that is undermining his or her success is certain area, it can, on occasion take some time before everything sinks in. Sure enough, a week later we get an enthusiastic phone call from the client explaining to us how he or she has “figured it out.”
As Confucius, another incredibly wise and much sought after guru said a long time ago, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And sometimes the two are one and the same, with a little guidance.