The Essence of Trust
Trust Defined
Mutual trust is a shared belief that you can depend on each other to achieve a common purpose.
More comprehensively trust defined as the willingness of a client to be vulnerable to the actions of the advisor based on the expectation that the advisor will perform an action important to the client, regardless of the advisors ability to monitor, control or influence the client.
People sense how you feel about them. If you want to change their attitudes toward you, change the negative attitudes you have toward them. Building relationships requires the building of trust. Trust is the expectancy of people that they can rely on your word. It is built through integrity and consistency in relationships.
Effective listening is one of the most important aspects of building trust. Effective listening is hard work and to do it well you must focus energy and attention to the task at hand.
Effective Listening Part 1: The Bottom Line of Trust
If you listen well people will trust you. You cannot establish trust if you cannot listen. A conversation is a relationship. Both speaker and listener play a part, each influencing the other. Instead of being a passive recipient, the listener has as much to do in shaping the conversation as the speaker.
Effective Listening Part 2: Understand and Fulfill Needs of Others
One of the golden rules of being an empowered and trusted financial advisor is that every client needs one person with whom they can openly and unashamedly discuss every little detail – happenings, desires, fears – of their financial life, whether it is from the past, present, or future. There are other psychological needs – to be accepted unconditionally, appreciated, recognized, respected, desired, valued, approved of, or complimented – that affect the way we communicate with each other. Listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely interested and you’ll be amazed at the spin-offs from becoming a good question asker and a good listener. People appreciate, respect and value others who are great listeners.
Effective Listening Part 3: Engage All of Your Senses
Most people simply listen to the words that are being said to them, but words contain only a small portion of the message. The remaining meaning of the message is hidden in the body language and the tone of voice. Understanding body language can help you look beyond what people say to what they really mean.
Effective Listening Part 4: Barriers to Effective Listening
Often we have too much difficulty listening to other people because:
1. We “know” what we are going to hear;
2. We are seeking confirmation, not information;
3. What’s being said is getting in the way of what needs be said.
Effective Listening Part 5: Active Listening
Active listening involves playing back your own interpretation of what has been said in acknowledgement - ‘As I see it/hear it/sense it/understand it, what you mean is…’
Effective Listening Part 6: Asking Effective Questions
Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.
Effective Listening Part 7: Pretending Ignorance:
Smart is dumb. Remember the TV show Columbo. He appeared to bumble into solving cases. In actuality, he knew what questions to ask and pretended ignorance. How can you really be ignorant if you always close your case.
Socrates used this technique more than 2300 years ago. He pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully.
The smartest and fastest businesspeople have perfected this art – consciously or unconsciously – of playing dumb. People who try to impress by pretending to be smart generally aren’t. Truly smart people know that by playing dumb and asking the other party to repeat or explain things several times, asking lots f questions, they’ll be better prepared to respond and then make a fast decision.
Take this message to heart. A little shift in your own behavior can create a tremendous result. Master the fundamentals of listening in the trust building process and you will surprise yourself at the willingness your best clients will have in empowering you fully.
Posted by Tom Frisby, Business Coach, BC